The Living Nightmare of dealing with Lenovo support.

By | May 27, 2016

This is my life now. A Kafkaesque epic to determine if my new Lenovo Thinkpad Yoga 11e 20D9 has Wacom functionality. Think that’s possible checking the User Guide? The English site’s User Guide is in Spanish. Oh, you’ve found the documentation page? There are 172 documents. Want to filter by language? You can’t. Want to filter such that only Installation and User Guide(s) result? Only one returns; it’s in Portuguese.

Yesterday I expressed my intent to use Twitter to elicit support. Acronis has at least responded; none of Lenovo’s multiplicity of Twitter accounts made a peep. Sadly, I resigned to setup a forum account. Given Lenovo’s unacceptable privacy policy, this meant winding my way through cpanel to resurrect a spam catch-all email account. Then I learned Lenovo’s forums utilize a uniquely idiotic double authentication system. You enter your info and receive a confirmation email that takes you to a page where you must re-enter your info to receive a confirmation email. Only then have you’ve earned the right to solicit information Lenovo chooses to withhold at all costs.

//Upon returning to the site Lenovo pops-up a form asking you to re-re-enter your information!

I doubt any good will come of the forums.

Today, no lie, wandering lonely and lost in the supermarket I saw a woman wearing a Lenovo t-shirt. I excitedly approached her to ask if she had the inside track on customer support, if maybe she worked for Lenovo or if her t-shirt was a gift from someone who did and if perhaps they or she could help me. Then I thought better of it. Would she recognize me as human? This ordeal has changed me. She might call out in fright, loathe to behold the twisted visage of an internet vagabond reduced to scavenging meat-space for tech support. No, I thought, I won’t give her or Lenovo the satisfaction. Lenovo will turn on her, too. I’ll bide my time, lurking in my own thread for a day or two. All the while gathering materials, packaging, reading policies, so that I may return this abomination of inscrutable beige box tech from whence it came!

Be sure to join us for tomorrow’s post, undoubtedly to be titled “The Living Nightmare of Returning a Lenovo Thinkpad Yoga 11e 20D9 to Woot.”


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